Thursday, June 24, 2010

God's Little Red Wagon

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

I am alone. I am frustrated. I am weak. I am vulnerable. I am lost. My heart aches. I can't sleep. I worry. I am numb.

My life the last few months has been anything but picture perfect. And yet, I have tended to take on this "whoa is me" attitude about everything. It's just me against the world. And sometimes I feel isolated, even alienated from the people I hold dearest to my heart. I forgot that God is there, and he will never leave me or forsake me. I forget to lean on him when I am troubled. I forgot to curl up in his open arms and feel that sense of total bliss..."a peace that passes all understanding."

And then I see an image like this. And not only do my problems seem so insignificant, but this image stirs up something inside me. Shouldn't we look at God this way sometimes? We're at our weakest point, not able to even hold ourselves up, and there he is - pulling us along in a little red wagon.

And then I remember Lily Murphy. I remember how more than two weeks ago, people everywhere were praying for her. She was on life support and in critical condition. Each day, Heidi (or a family member) posted an update that just floored me. Go, God! And after much prayer, she went home this past Tuesday. And I realize how awesome our God is. I forget how simple life is sometimes, and how often I take it for granted. I forget that when I don't think I have anyone else, He is there.

I shake my fist and get angry because, why is everything so horrible right now? I cry because I don't understand what is going on, and why this is happening to me. And I forget that I am blessed beyond words. I have a loving family, two beautiful children, a good job, friends who care about me....I forget all of the things that God has blessed me with and instead want to know why he is sitting back on is heels while my life falls apart.

This image hits that part of my heart and I realize He has been there the whole time. He has been the one to hold my hand and guide me through this mess. He has been the one to let me get to my weakest point and even when I thought carrying on wasn't a possibility, He is pulling me along in a little red wagon.

1 comment:

  1. This made me cry Miranda - I love your candor. We all are guily of these things. I have thought some of these thoughts over the past two weeks and God has been speaking to me through all of this. I want to believe that I would have been as strong if things had gone the other way with her. My strength only came though Christ. I don't see how I could have managed any other way.